


This Town

by Penelovemepark



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Josie is heart broken, Penelope is a hologram, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 16:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penelovemepark/pseuds/Penelovemepark
Summary: Josie’s eyes glance across the room, she catches herself in the mirror and for a split second she thinks it’s Penelope. Then she realises that it’s not, and it’s just herself in Penelope’s clothes. Her eyes fall to the floor and she suddenly feels anger bubbling within herself. She can’t accept the fact that Penelope is gone, and it makes her so angry because every time she thinks Penelope is going to waltz into the room again, she’s reminded of the sound of luggage dragging on the floor, the sound of shaky breaths and I love you’s.Based on the song 'This Town', in which Josie doesn't cope so well with Penelope being gone.





	This Town

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I wrote this originally for my friend @scftadora (check out her twitter she's very smart and funny) but I thought I might as well share it with you guys too! It's just a one shot so I won't be continuing it but nevertheless I hope you still enjoy it! If you do leave a kudos or a comment and maybe I'll finally stop crying about Penelope leaving ):

_This Town_

_Waking up to kiss you and nobody’s there, the smell of your perfume still stuck in the air._

 

The few seconds after waking up from a sleep is perhaps the most calming few seconds of anyone’s life. For Josie, that’s when thinks she’s most at peace, when all her worries and troubles are drained from her. Her eyes flutter open, and for a few blissful seconds, she forgets every bad thing that’s ever happened. But like all good things, they must come to an end and when Josie blinks a few times and finds the space next to her empty, reality crashes on her and she remembers what’s missing, or rather _who_ she’s missing. Just like that, the peace is ripped from her and replaced with an overwhelming sadness and regret. 

She reaches out and her fingers hover above the pillow next to her, stroking the air lightly. The distance between her fingers and the pillow is precise, Josie knows that if Penelope was here next to her, then Josie’s fingers would be lightly brushing her cheek. But she’s not, and Josie is alone. She sighs and her hand collapses onto the pillow with a thud, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. It doesn’t work, because the entire room smells like Penelope and Josie takes another painful stab to the heart. Her breathing is shallow and unsteady, and she’s trying her best to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over.

She desperately tries to avoid the memories flooding into her head, memories of times where she’d wake up to Penelope’s beautiful sleeping face. Or when Penelope would already be awake and staring at her with a look so soft, when she’d kiss Josie and make her heart skip a beat so early in the morning. Josie can see it all in her head, and oh _god_ it hurts so bad.

 

_It’s hard._

 

Her eyes sweep the room, even though almost everything is still in place it looks unbearably empty, just like how Josie feels at the moment. She sits up, clenching her jaw and shutting her eyes for a second. It’s a mistake to do so, because behind her shut lids she can see Penelope. Josie can see her crying, she can hear Penelope telling her she loves her, and she can hear herself say _nothing._

She shifts uncomfortably in her spot. In a twisted, heart-wrenching way, she thinks it’s funny. She’s been in this room so many times before, been in this bed so many times before, she knows this room from top to bottom. Yet, when she looks around and sees how empty it is, it hurts her. It has everything that makes it a normal room, a bed and desk and wardrobe, but it lacks the _one_ thing that made this room a home, and not just any other place to her. She wonders how something so familiar could so suddenly become just as _unfamiliar_.

Josie swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands up straight. The sun is shining through the window, flooding the room with light and warmth. She’s a drastic contrast to this, because she’s flooded with darkness and cold. She pushes the memory of seeing Penelope walk away from her out of her mind, focusing instead on the desk. There are pens and books still piled neatly on top. Josie wonders why she didn’t take them with her. Just for a second, Josie convinces herself that Penelope isn’t really gone, that she just left to get something and any moment now she’ll walk through the door and greet Josie with that beautiful smile, just like she used to.

She notices that there’s an empty space that isn’t occupied by stationary or books, a place that Josie remembers held a photo frame with a picture of the two of them inside. Josie’s heart flutters at the idea that Penelope took it with her to Belgium, before she realises that perhaps Penelope got rid of it after their break up. She doesn’t know what hurts more, the idea of Penelope throwing it out, or knowing she’ll never really know because she can’t ask her.

She walks towards the wardrobe and opens it, the smell of Penelope punches her in the face, but she isn’t mad about it. Instead, she takes a deep inhale and sighs softly. The closet is mostly empty, save for Penelope’s old (Josie’s heart clenches at the thought) school uniform. She reaches out and lets her fingers brush the school blazer, it’s the same one Penelope wore yesterday, the day she left.

Josie feels the air leave her lungs, and her lips start to tremble. She can feel her heart breaking all over again and _fuck,_ she can’t get the image of Penelope walking away out of her mind. Josie still cannot believe that she’s really gone, and she can’t believe it took Penelope leaving for Josie to realise how much she _needed_ her around. Josie has always had pent up anger and frustration, but at least she had all that with Penelope by her side, calming her. Josie realises that Penelope was a sort of lid, containing her and keeping her grounded. Now that she’s gone, Josie thinks that she’s ready to burst any second.

Josie recalls Penelope saying, “ _this world needs the selfless, and the selfish to keep spinning”,_ and she sees how true it really is. Penelope has always been the selfless one, and Josie the selfish, she’s realised that much last night. Without Penelope, Josie feels her world come to a standstill, and she isn’t sure if it’ll ever start spinning again.

In the right corner of the closet, folded neatly, Josie sees a school skirt. She finds this weird, because she knows Penelope likes to keep all her clothes in sections, and her bottoms section is on the left side. Josie reaches down and picks up, letting it unfold in the air. Her heart drops into her stomach when she sees the tag at the back of the skirt, with the initials _J.S_ written in black marker. Josie had always thought Lizzie had taken her second skirt. She brushes her thumbs over the fabric, and her heart leaps at the fact Penelope has kept her skirt all this time. She wonders why Penelope never returned it. Thoughts run rampant in her head, and Josie can’t help but wonder if Penelope kept it to feel closer to her.

Josie takes a shaky breath and puts the skirt on, along with Penelope’s white blouse and her blazer. The blazer falls short on her wrists, and Josie’s lips tug up into a sad smile when she recalls Penelope having to roll up her sleeves in order to fit the blazer.

 

_Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round._

 

Josie’s eyes glance across the room, she catches herself in the mirror and for a split second Josie thinks it’s Penelope. Then she realises that it’s not, and it’s just herself in Penelope’s clothes. Her eyes fall to the floor and she suddenly feels anger bubbling within herself. She can’t accept the fact that Penelope is gone, and it makes her so angry because every time she thinks Penelope is going to waltz into the room again, she’s reminded of the sound of luggage dragging on the floor, the sound of shaky breaths and _I love you’s_.

She decides that she doesn’t want to go to classes today, because going means she has to see Lizzie, and she is beyond angry at Lizzie. _How could she not tell me Penelope was leaving? If she did I could’ve convinced her to stay._ Josie’s fists clench, because deep down she knows she’s at fault too. _If you had read her letter like she told you to, then you could’ve had all that time to tell her not to leave._

She pushes that thought out of her mind, because it is so much easier to be mad and to blame Lizzie than to realise that, in the end, she’s really the one to blame.

* * *

 

She spends the day avoiding Lizzie, despite the blonde’s efforts to catch Josie. She even employs Hope, who is currently walking down the hallway in search of her. Josie is hidden behind a plant, watching stealthily.

 

_It’s funny how things never change in this old town._

 

She is three seconds away from sending a fireball down the hallway in order to distract her. She places her hand on the wall and feels the warmth from siphoning, her eyes narrow and she opens her mouth to whisper the spell. Before she can, she hears her dad’s voice call Hope from the other end of the hall, and Hope turns around and walks away leaving Josie free briskly walk away.

 

_So far from the stars._

Josie wonders what Penelope would think, if she saw Josie hiding behind a plant ready to potentially light the school on fire just to avoid Lizzie. She wonders if Penelope would be proud that she’s putting her own needs first, and not giving in to Lizzie and accepting her apology so fast like she always used to. It hurts Josie, because she knows the most she can do is just wonder. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever get the chance to ask Penelope what she thinks, because Penelope is in Belgium and she is so, _so_ far from Josie that it physically hurts.

She decides she’s had enough of playing hide and seek with Lizzie and Hope and returns to Penelope’s (old) room. She cracks the door open just enough for her to fit in, because she doesn’t want to run the risk of airing out the room and speeding up the process of Penelope’s scent fading. So, she double checks the windows are shut tight, and she places a towel underneath the door to seal any cracks. 

She falls onto the bed, on the side she always slept on when they were together. The other side, _Penelope’s side,_ is left untouched and Josie feels another painful stab to the heart. She sits up and takes off her blazer, then lifts up Penelope’s pillow and carefully tries to put the blazer on it. The end result is a crinkly blazer on a squashed pillow, but Josie doesn’t care because this is the closest she can get to Penelope without her actually being there.

Josie lays back down, hugging the make-shift Penelope pillow to her chest and inhaling the scent of the girl on the blazer. She thinks that if someone came into the room at this moment, they’d send her to Emma because she is sure she looks absolutely insane.

 

_And I remember everything from when were the children playing in this fair ground, wish I was there with you now._

Josie reminisces about the times when they were younger. When Penelope first moved to the school. Josie remembers it like yesterday, the way her breath caught in her throat when her dad introduced Penelope to her and Lizzie. The way Josie stopped looking at Hope and started looking at Penelope, the way Penelope looked back at her. She remembers it all, and she can so clearly see how snarky and indifferent Penelope would be to everyone, but then turn her attention to Josie, look at her like she was the sun and the stars and speak in the softest of tones that Josie’s heart would melt on the spot. She thinks she would give anything to go back to those times.  Her lips form a faint smile when she recalls how defensive and protective Penelope was, how she hexed a boy so bad he spent a week bed ridden because he purposely tripped Josie during a game of soccer, causing her to cut her eyebrow on a rock and get stitches. She remembers how Penelope would come up and stand a little too close, kiss Josie a little too long, and stand a little straighter and taller whenever someone even remotely close to flirting with Josie.

A knock on the door pulls her out her thoughts. She blinks twice, and realises that night has fallen and she’s been lost in her thoughts about Penelope for hours. She hears movement outside the door and she feels anger quickly bubbling up inside of her. She doesn’t want to see Lizzie, she thought her avoidance had made that abundantly clear. Josie’s anger forces her up, and she walks briskly to the door and opens it enough for her head to peak through, ready to send Lizzie away.

Instead, she’s met by blue eyes and the concerned face of Hope. Josie’s anger fades a bit, but she still sucks in a breath and her faces remains stoic.

“Um, hi.” Hope says awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other, “Lizzie told me I would find you here.” 

“Here I am.” Josie replies, the air between them is tense and it’s awkward and Josie would give anything to just close the door, get into bed and cry herself to sleep. “Did you need something?” 

Hope frowns slightly at Josie’s tone, but doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, she awkwardly lifts up a prism that Josie recognises as the one Lizzie uses when she has an episode. “Lizzie gave me this, um, prism? She said that it’d help me figure out what to say to Landon.” 

Josie’s patience is running thin, she doesn’t want small talk. “Okay… Was that all?” 

Hope internally winces at Josie’s cold demeanour, “I just… I thought that if I gave it to you, then you might be able to talk to…” Hope trails off and Josie stiffens. 

“Penelope.” Hope gives a tight-lipped nod, extending her hand and holding the prism out for Josie. 

“I know that it won’t really be her, and it’ll just be your subconscious taking her form but… It helped me figure out how I really felt about Landon.” Josie takes the prism, twisting it around in her palm a few times, “maybe it can help you…. I don’t know, figure out how you’re feeling about all this?” 

A silence falls between them, and Josie looks down at the prism but doesn’t say anything, and Hope wonders if she should just take it back and apologise for surprising Josie with it. But then Josie looks back up at Hope and there’s a slightly softer look in her eyes. 

“Thank you,” Hope lets a small smile grace her lips for a second, and she nods. 

“I’m sorry, by the way,” Hope says, her voice full of sincerity,” about Penelope leaving. I know that must have been hard for you, especially considering your history.” Josie winces at the word ‘history’.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault.” Josie says with a tight-lipped smile, there’s a beat of silence before Josie speaks up again, “congratulations on winning Miss Mystic Falls, you deserved it.” 

“Thank you,” Hope gives her a genuine smile, and Josie returns a smaller one. She gives Hope one last look, before gently closing the door. She hears her footsteps walking away and Josie lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She looks down at the prism one more time, debating whether or not to use it. She knows it’s not the same as seeing Penelope and she wonders if it’ll hurt her, seeing the girl again but knowing she’s not really there. She decides to just give it a go, because real or not, Josie would do anything to see Penelope again.

She places the crystal on the desk and closes her eyes. She imagines Penelope’s face, then her heart drops at the sound of her voice. 

“Hey Jojo.” She turns around and sees Penelope sitting on the bed, as beautiful as ever. She’s wearing the uniform she wore the day she left, the same one Josie is wearing. Josie knows that it’s not really Penelope sitting in front of her, but she can’t help the way her heart beats faster and her mouth goes dry. Because she just looks so _real_ and so _breathtakingly beautiful_ that Josie has a hard time believing it’s not really her. 

“Penelope.” She breathes. Her heart lurches when the girl smiles at her. It’s that same, playful smile that she always used with her, and Josie thinks she’d give anything to see that again. 

“You’re wearing my clothes,” Josie looks down and sadly smiles, “and you put my blazer on my pillow, even you have to admit that’s a bit weird, Jojo.” 

Josie rolls her eyes and a light smile plays on her lips. 

“You know, for a hologram based on my subconscious you’re awfully accurate.” Penelope looks amused. 

“That’s all your doing, the more accurate I am shows just how much attention you paid to me.” Josie feels tears threaten to spill over, because she realises that if she had just _shown_ that attention to Penelope, instead of hiding it, then maybe she wouldn’t be talking to a hologram of Penelope, maybe she could’ve been talking to the real one.

 

_And I want to tell you everything the words I never got to say the first time around._

 

“I’m sorry, Pen.” Josie says, her voice cracking and lips trembling, “I’m so sorry.” 

Josie walks over and sits on the bed, next to Penelope. She notices how Penelope doesn’t make a dent in the bed, and it’s a painful reminder that she isn’t really here. She doesn’t expect much when she reaches out for Penelope’s hand, but it still kills her inside when her hand falls right through Penelope’s and into the soft mattress below her, and Penelope’s hologram wavers a bit. Penelope gives her a concerned look, and it’s so soft and full of love, just like how Penelope looked at her when she said her last ‘I love you’ and _oh god_ Josie is sobbing now.

“What are you sorry for?” Josie sniffles, her mouth thick with regret and her chest heavy with sadness. 

“Everything,” her words come out shaky, “for not reading the letter before it was too late, for giving you a thousand reasons to go. I told you I hated you so many times, I told you to go away and to leave me alone but god, I never wanted you to go, I never wanted you to leave me. I didn’t want to admit how much I needed you, because you broke my heart. But I do, I need you so fucking much Penelope and it kills me because you aren’t here anymore. You leaving made me realise that you’re my anchor, and without you I feel like I’m floating away and I-I don’t know if I can come back.” 

“Oh, honey…” Josie lets out a loud sob, her breathing rapid, she feels like she’s on the brink of hyperventilation.   

“Please, I’d give anything for you to come back. Please Penelope, come back to me,” Josie begs, “ _please_ don’t leave me.” 

“I’m already gone Josie…” She’s never hated her subconscious more. Josie shakes her head frantically, giving the hologram a pleading look. 

“I should’ve told you this before, I should’ve told you how much I care about you, how much I _need_ you. If I could go back in time, I’d listen to everything you were trying to tell me, I’d read your letter, I-I,” A cry racks her body and Josie feels like she can’t breathe. “I’d stand up to Lizzie. I’d put myself first, god I’d even stop myself from falling down those stairs. I’d do it all differently if that meant I could be here with you, the real you. And I can’t imagine how much it hurt you to wait for all those weeks, hoping I’d change.” 

Josie’s words are barely intelligible, she’s crying so hard that the words blend into one another. That doesn’t matter though, she doesn’t need to be understood because she isn’t actually talking to anyone, just herself. 

“All you ever wanted was the best for me and I wish I didn’t realise so late how everything you did was for me, for us. How you never stopped fighting for us until you realised that I never would.  But I would, I would fight to the death for us and I can’t tell you how much it hurts me to know you might never know that.” 

“Why didn’t you fight for us?” Josie shakes her head, her cheeks drenched with tears. 

“I don’t know. I was heart-broken, and it was so easy to blame you for hurting me and to hate you. It was easy to block out everything you were saying than to face the real reason for our break up.” She takes a deep breath, and her eyes fall to the floor. The pain in her chest is unbearable. She looks back up at Penelope, her face trembling. “I know you aren’t here anymore, and I know that you might not ever hear what I said tonight, but I’m going to try. I promise you I’m going to try and put myself first, the way you always put me first.” 

Penelope’s hologram has tears in her eyes, she reaches out and cups Josie’s face just like she did last night. It’s exactly the same, except Josie can’t feel her brushing away the tears or the warmth from her hand and her heart shatters even more. They sit in silence for a second until Penelope speaks up, or rather, Josie’s subconscious does.

 _If the whole world was watching, I’d still dance with you._  

“We never got our Miss Mystic Falls dance.” Penelope stands up and walks to the centre of the room. She holds out her hand for Josie, who stands up as well and walks to her. She doesn’t take Penelope’s hand, because she knows she can’t. Instead, she lets it hover as close as it possibly can to her hologram and pretends that she can feel Penelope’s hand in hers. 

They go through the steps of the dance slowly, their eyes never breaking contact. Josie wonders what it would be like, if they were able to dance in front of everyone. She wonders how it would have felt, if she had won Miss Mystic Falls with Penelope by her side, she wonders if that would’ve been a good enough reason for her to stay. 

“Maybe it would’ve been.” Penelope says. Josie thinks that breathing is painful. 

They move to the waltz part of the dance, and Penelope’s hologram hand rests on her hip. Josie can’t feel it, but she forces herself to remember the feeling of the girl’s hand when they rehearsed together. She wishes she savoured that moment more. She remembers the way Penelope caught her when she faked a trip, and she thinks about how the girl was always there to stop her from falling. Now, she feels like she’s spiralling deeper and deeper into darkness, and there’s no Penelope at the bottom to catch her. She feels _so fucking_ alone.

Their hands are close together, but not quite touching. Josie thinks that this is what it must’ve been like for Penelope. Having Josie right there, but just not quite the way she wanted. They dance around the room silently, it’s nothing compared to how the use to dance. Josie can’t help but remember the times she would show up to Penelope’s room upset over something to do with Lizzie. She remembers the times that she’d cry on Penelope’s shoulder while she hugged her, how she would wipe her tears and smile that oh so soft smile at her. Then she’d stand up, reach out her hand and Josie would take it. With a flick of her wrist, music would flood the room and Penelope would dance like a dork to make Josie smile. And dance they would, throughout the entire room until Josie’s tears dried up and her laughter filled the room.

 

_Drive highways and byways to be there with you._

“I’d do anything to be with you again, Pen.” Josie whispers, Penelope smiles sadly.

 

_And I know that it’s wrong, that I can’t move on, but there’s something about you._

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget you, and I don’t think I want to.” Josie admits,” I don’t think I’ll ever get over you, Pen. You were – _are,_ my person _._ Even if you aren’t here.”

 

_You still make me nervous when you walk in the room, them butterflies they come alive when I’m next to you._

She smiles at Josie, and her hologram nails it because Josie feels her heart flutter and it feels like the first time they met all over again. She wonders how Penelope, hologram or not, can still make her turn into a nervous wreck with just a smile. She wonders how she let her go, how she watched Penelope walk away and didn’t chase her. How she let her down _again._

_Over and over the only truth._

Josie takes in a shaky, shallow breath and they stop dancing. Her lips tremble and she tries her best not to cry. She hates that she couldn’t say this to Penelope, she hates that she stayed silent when Penelope confessed her love for her, and she hates that she knew she loved Penelope, but still let her walk away thinking she didn’t.

_Everything comes back to you_

 

“I love you, Penelope.” Tears fall from her face, and Josie wishes with everything in her that she was saying it to the real Penelope.

 

Penelope’s hologram looks at her with a tender look, and Josie desperately wants her to say that she knows. But Josie knows she won’t, because Penelope _doesn’t_ know. Josie has only ever said she hates her or called her evil and obnoxious. It kills her to know Penelope thinks she doesn’t love her with her whole heart, when in reality she does, and she’s stuck saying it to a hologram instead of the person she wants most in the world.

 

So the hologram smiles, and says the only thing Josie knows that Penelope knows.

 

“I love you, Jojo.”

 

_Everything comes back to you._

**Author's Note:**

> Reasons why Penelope should come back  
> 1\. Julie Plec please...
> 
> Hope you guys liked it! @scftadora if you are reading this then I hope you're doing well girly mwah <3


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